Amanda Grace
November 5, 2015

image

there’s sad in my heart
i cannot express
it sits in my throat
and high on my chest

the burdensome cost
of feeling so small
on the little child lost
in the thick of it all
who grows up too fast
in a bottled up life
that steals a good husband
and robs a good wife

i wish i could wish
myself back the years
to nurture the children
robbed of their tears

From my art journal 11/15

Always, Amanda xoxo

October 29, 2015

image

good when I was bad
down when I was up
I could have been forgotten
hated, but I’m loved

I could have been…
a rock star
made up on a stage
I could have been a lonely wife
I could have wasted rage

I could have been an artist
the one up on your wall
but all I am is who I am
It doesn’t mean I’m small

💗

From my art journal 10/15

Always, Amanda xoxo

October 29, 2015

Painted in FLora Bowley's Bloom True Workshop

A thought struck me last night. I’m not sure where it came from. I was thinking about imagination and Intuition, my relationship to my own and their relationship to creativity. 

I’m going to admit it, I don’t have much of an imagination.

October 23, 2015

image

If it was you
I listened to
I’d hear beneath the busy

But because it’s me
I fight, I flee
No wiser to the tizzy

AG 10/15

From my art journal

Always, Amanda xoxo

October 20, 2015

image

Lying in bed, bargaining…
I begin
the peeling of my gooey self
from the clutch of resistance 

In this syrupy state,
Words come easy
And propel me to rise
For no other reason
Than to find a pen

But still, I don’t wake
Until I scoop water, iced
On my itchy face
Gargle salt
and turn on every light
Down the hall

The morning arrives

And me,
slowly gaining momentum
In divorcing myself
From a mind
Who wants none of this

I eject myself
into crisp morning air
And now, light…
I’m reaching for dawn

sticky blue, I go
In search of pink
a feathered sky
Because that’s what I promised,
That’s the deal

And when I return,
I sense more relief…
That the morning has begun
And I have overcome
The daily obstacle
of indifference on awakening

AG 10/15

October 15, 2015

My imagined self
Is not the me of today
Or tomorrow
Or probably ever

The self I desire
Could never be
As long as I remain the me I am now

Three days from fourty
I find my now self
Berating my errors
As I eat unplanned toast

Negating my efforts
As I lament on my lateness

In blooming
No, In trying to bloom…
The frustration is in the ‘trying’
…To become

Who though?
A me I’ll never be?

image

From my art journal 10/15

Always, Amanda xoxo

October 8, 2015

14 months ago I did a google search that changed my creative life.

October 1, 2015

Inspiration is essential. Inspiration is hope. Inspiration is the key to animation.

Before I started painting, and even since I have began, I had little understanding of what makes an artist. I didn’t know what a creative process was, even though in hindsight, I can see that I’ve always had one. Before becoming an artist,

September 10, 2015

unnamed

“You’re like a jigsaw and all the pieces are coming together”. That’s what my mam said to me recently.

September 7, 2015

11145168_1611524955795493_3960795910389376245_n

*Prompt: Three things.

What if I were to focus on just three things?
not twenty
not a thousand
three

what if